Life as a low-level professional ballplayer is pretty sweet. How would I describe it in one word? Lazy.  

Wake Up

I awaken anywhere between 9am and 2pm. 5-8am basically doesn’t exist. Because we  don’t have to report to the field until usually 2-4, depending on the day and our workload, we have all morning and early afternoon to ourselves. And, because the first half of the day is boring and uneventful, sleeping seems like the best use of our time. Sure, I could get up, make breakfast, and read the paper, but I’ll have time to do that when I’m old. Rather, I sleep until I feel good…then I sleep about a half hour longer. Why do we need all the sleep? More on that later…

Upon awakening, I make breakfast and watch TV or do a little writing. At home, I get the chance to make healthy food for myself, which is great because while on the road we rarely have healthy, fresh options. Some oatmeal, fresh fruit, eggs, fish oil and a protein shake start off a great day during a homestand. If we’re on the road, then I force myself to sleep even longer before foraging outside for food. Usually the bus will take us somewhere if we don’t have restaurants within walking distance, but sometimes we’re out of luck. Grocery stores are my savior, as I can save some dough and get quality food in lieu of Wendy’s and whatnot. Hotels in small towns are boring, and we don’t have to be at the ballpark until 4:00 while on the road for a 7:05 game.

The Least Attractive Redhead I know

The Workday

At the ballpark, it’s time to make our money. We get all of our practice, training, etc. before the game, which is why we are there 3-5 hours before our game. We get time in the clubhouse to change, make some food, rock out to some music, or whatever for our first hour at the field. Again, the workload of the day depends on how much of our time during pregame is free. The two days after a start I have a lot of training, dry drills and conditioning to do, so there’s less time to sit around. But other days, there’s more time to sit and enjoy the antics of the rest of the team. Batting practice lasts 45 minutes, and then we either continue to get our practice in, individually, or head back to the clubhouse for pregame food, showers, bullshitting, and uniforms.

Once the game starts, we have 3 hours to hopefully earn our salary. One of my teammates was calculating our earnings today. He told me that based on my pay rate, if you were to assume I get paid only on days I pitch, I earn about 1 dollar per pitch, or roughly $100 per start. Yeah, I don’t make much, but I couldn’t care less. Most of it goes in my pocket, anyway, because we don’t pay for much of anything.

After Hours

Once the game is over, it’s back to clubhouse for more free food, which is hit or miss depending on the clubbie. Here’s how the clubhouse works:

We pay clubhouse dues to the “clubbie”, who washes our uniforms and buys our food for us. When we’re away, we’re at the mercy of a clubbie who may or may not care how well we, the visiting team, are fed. If they provide us nice, catered meals after each game, then we all go home full and we can pocket our per diems. But, if the food sucks, then we may or may not eat it, and may have to go searching for food at a time that most restaurants are closed. We have to pay him dues either way.  Our clubbie at home, Mark, is terrific and takes great care of us, so we all try to take care of him as well. He works long hours and is a great guy.

Once we leave the ballpark, our real free time is upon us. This is our only chance to socialize, though we are all usually tired from a long day in the heat. If we don’t go out to the clubs, life outside of baseball gets kind of dull. So, we all try to go out a few days a week to see some new faces. We have all day to sleep, so being out until 1 or 2 isn’t a big deal. When we go out, some guys drink a lot, some guys don’t drink much, or at all. After that, we go to sleep, and do it all again.

The compact schedule makes for a fun but rigorous summer. Days off are rare and having a game in a new city the next day is commonplace. Those lazy afternoons become valuable when you have to pack up the bus at 11:00pm after a game and drive to a new city, where you hopefully arrive before the sun comes up. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t, and a 4:00 bedtime can feel regular at times. Sleeping on the bus, if you’re a light sleeper like me, is difficult. But, after a few cumulative late nights it gets easier.

Life-Giver?

Just recently we were on the road near Chicago, and we had a 4 hour drive to our next road series. After wrapping up the first series, we were sent packing with a really terrible spread of food that nobody ate. So, we hit the road with empty stomachs heading up to Kalamazoo, Michigan. Upon arriving at around 3am, we were all starving and had to find food. It was early morning, so nothing was open. McDonald’s was serving, but only via the drive-thru. So, our assistant coach convinced the drive-thru window person to make 50 double cheeseburgers for us, along with 10 orders of chicken nuggets, powerades for everyone, and 20 orders of fries. It took about 45 minutes of waiting and about 45 seconds of annihilation before all the food was gone. I had actually avoided eating a McDonald’s burger before then, so this 3:30 burger was my first. When you’re starving, you take what you can get. Late nights and fast food: two things that wear you down in a hurry, but that I wouldn’t trade for anything. It’s an interesting life, to say the least, and I’m going home with stories.