Random Thoughts & Humor
December 20, 2010 | 
Author Well, it’s the Holiday season once again. I’m off to Spain tomorrow morning, but I wanted to shoot down your chimneys for a spell and drop off my gifts to you. We try to deny it, but the majority of worshipping every Holiday season really is done in Best Buy, Dick’s and the Apple Store as we celebrate the magic of possessions. Have you seen the Xbox Kinect!? Way cooler than world peace.
Anyway, here are a few things that you may want to put on your list for whomever you call your gift deity this time of year.
Happy Holidays from evil Robot Santa, Kwanzaa Bot and the Hanukah Zombie. Gotta love Futurama
Read the rest of this entry »
I was telling a few people the other day about this photo, which is my favorite of all time. No, it’s not my favorite in a grinning, happy kind of way, but just in that it is an incredibly interesting photo, one that thankfully allowed us to see an amazing act of conviction.
Not much to say.
I just want to, once again, thank you for reading my humble internet offerings. Since I started writing “full-time” at my blog about 9 months ago, traffic has slowly and steadily increased, until last month. From February to March I had a 64% increase in traffic, which is huge. I’ve omitted the numbers, but check out my graph of monthly views: Read the rest of this entry »
I have to say it’s been a great run, but today is going to be my last blog post ever. You see, I have found another calling in this life, and I won’t be able to devote the time to this endeavor anymore. As I leave, I want to say thanks to all of you who have been reading and sharing my knowledge among the training and baseball community. Read the rest of this entry »
[Thursday, 5:30 pm]
“So when are you leaving?”
“Friday at 3 o’clock in the morning.”
“Oh. So you’re leaving tonight!?”
“Well, uh, I guess. Friday morning I fly out.”
I had this exact conversation with at least 4 people. I claimed that I was departing in the morning, and they were certain that I would be leaving later that night. So all morning I have been wondering,
When does night end and morning begin? Read the rest of this entry »
I’m excited that THIS is the 100th post on Danblewett.com. It’s a milestone that I’m pleased to report, mostly because I wouldn’t have written this much had not my readership continued to grow, and the feedback continued to be good. Not to say that I’m driven solely on the approval others, but it’s nice to know that people are getting something out of my musings here in cyberspace. After all, I’m in this position largely because of how much stuff I have tried, and how much failure I have experienced. Good thing is that it’s all become something useful to others, which is all you can ask for in one’s failures and tribulations.
So, as I pondered what to write for the big 100, I wondered how many of you out there know anything about me on a personal level. I don’t write this blog as a tribute to myself, but rather just as a training resource, using applicable experiences that I might have as helpful examples. I also wondered if anyone out there cares (the answer is probably no). Yet, I’m gonna force feed you a little taste of what it’s like to be this internet magnate that I am, as seen through an interview with me. Now’s your chance to learn the answers to questions about me that you neither asked nor care about. Enjoy!
*Editor’s Note: After re-reading this, I’m convinced that this is my finest post to date among posts that have no value to my readers*
Yesterday as I was driving to work, I saw a silver hatchback something, maybe a Chrysler or a Dodge, with a huge JESUS scripted on the side in maroon and navy lettering. There was also a cross after his name, just to make sure you knew it was that Jesus. Hmmmm. That’s interesting, I thought. So I took my eyes off the road and decided to inspect the driver of this conspicuous vehicle. What I found was a white male with a thin face and dirty appearance, sporting a long beard that took at least a year to grow. It WAS Jesus!
As I laughed at what I had just seen, it dawned on me: If I was Jesus, the son of God reincarnate, back to hang with the people of the 21st century, I would do exactly what he was doing: blatantly advertising myself in plain sight.
Why would I do this? For the irony and self-amusement, of course. Religious folk love to throw out the “What if that poor beggar you just denied is Jesus” to illustrate how we should all treat others well, because we never know who might be watching or judging us. They all assume that If Jesus was to come back among us, he would be dressed quite lowly, blending in among the vermin, and not at all like the “king of kings.”
This picture absolutely cracks me up!
But yet, If Jesus came back with a silver hatchback to drive with his corporate logo on the side, sporting full beard and era-appropriate threads, no one would actually believe it was him. If he had a sense of humor he would certainly get a good laugh at it as well, because nothing he could ever say or do would convince sane people that the Jesus would run around in a silver car with his name on it and shake hands while sporting a 6 inch beard and desert-wear.
So yes, If I was Jesus, back to spread my word to mankind, I would do it like this guy in the silver hatchback. I’d throw out the all the stops, shake your hand, look you in the eye, and hand you my informational pamphlet. Then I’d get back in my sporty ride, and chuckle to myself at how much fun this all was, as I looked for another soul to save.
I celebrated 2009′s departure with more fervor than any other year in my 24 years of existence. While I had a lot of productive things happen in ’09, leading me into 2010 with a codpiece full of optimism, I got kicked in the nuts by life way too many times. As soon as I stopped dry heaving, whimpering and coughing enough to arise from my knees, along came another swift inguinal blow.
"Ouff" is right
Now we could get into a debate about how my overprivileged-middle-class problems aren’t as real those of most of the world, but screw that. Things were hard, it was a bad year, and it’s all looking up for 2010.
So now is the time when everyone makes their resolutions, which last probably an average of 45 days, if that. I have never been one for resolutions, mostly because Jan.1 is ultimately just one arbitrary deadline. If you really want to change, Christ, just do it today.
But anyway, in the spirit of the holiday, I would like to suggest some resolutions for others that may be useful, based on my observations of my own and other people’s lifestyles.
1. Stop Being Such a Pansy With The Opposite Sex
I know far too many guys who are downright terrified of being rejected by women without 10 shots in them. Now I could, and probably will, write pages and pages about this subject, but today I’ll leave you with one reason to sac up and go for it: People are attracted most to others close to their own attractiveness.
So, if you think a girl is really pretty, and others would agree that she is at least somewhat “in your league,” then there is a great chance she would hear you out. After all, you’re attracted to and would be receptive to her if she approached, so why wouldn’t the same be true if you broke the ice? Anytime a girl comes up to me or my friends I am always impressed, and whether or not it’s a connection, she earns points and I give her my attention. I yell at my sister every time she tells me she saw a cute guy, and didn’t talk to him. Lame. Life is just too boring and short to not take what you want.
2. Stop Being Needlessly Reckless
Use protection. I can’t believe that even needs to be said, but it shocks me how many people are so cavalier about it with people they barely know. Unless you’re married and stable, children, god bless them, aren’t what you need.
3. Stop Being So Fat
Nutrition isn’t as complicated as one might think. Trade in the cookies, chips and processed foods for veggies and fruits, and eat some healthy fats and lean protein in each meal. Exercise. THATS IT. (You knew this deep down, didn’t you?)
4. Stop Being Guarded
Be more honest, and tell people what’s really going on. All those acquaintances that you have, in which you always talk about superficial things, aren’t really adding meaning to your life. Make your interactions meaningful by saying meaningful things.
5. Stop Being Cheap (Especially in the recession)
I’m fortunate in that I enjoy my job, and am very good at it, and am well paid. Do I deserve this? Sure, I put in the work and have specialized knowledge, but I don’t really work harder or deserve more money than anyone else. I had an epiphany when I was in Giant and saw a 45 year old man stocking shelves: I need to spread my wealth around even more to those who deserve and need it. This guy looked just like, and was conceivably just as educated as any other 45 year old with a career paying 80 grand a year.
This stocker probably has the same mortgage, wife and kids, too. So why is he stocking shelves? Maybe some bad choices, but maybe not, and there are enough people out there like him who do those custodial jobs through no fault of their own. Maybe he was laid off, or had some major shake-up, who knows.
Point is, you see the restaurant workers, barbers, custodians, and all these people who work way harder and way longer for way less money than the rest of us, through no real fault of their own. Who we all are today is largely a product of genetics and ancestry. If my family was poor, I wouldn’t be doing what I do, and I wouldn’t be able to still pursue baseball. Rather, I’d be out working to make ends meet and scrape by.
So if you have the money to go to a restaurant, or get a nice haircut, or whatever, you BETTER tip those people well. Even if you always tipped well, tip a little better. They work harder than you and deserve a break, and you never know what a few extra dollars could mean to someone.
———–
So there ya go. 5 resolutions that get the Dan Blewett stamp of approval (prestigious, I know!)
My resolution for my site is to get more comments out of you, my valued readers. So I would love to hear your comments, starting with any resolutions you would like to add to this list!
I’m excited to celebrate my first Christmas with an internet presence, and I wanted to say thank you to all of you out there who have helped me gain the knowledge and confidence to project myself as a resource in this way.
I have gotten a lot of really positive feedback from my readers, friends, family and clients and it continues to inspire me to keep providing you all with the most insightful and practical knowledge I can.
I want to take a quick moment to single out three people who’s influence on and time with me is evident in all the training I do…
Coach Fred Cantor
Under Coach Cantor, my strength coach at UMBC, I went from having zero knowledge to a certified and confident strength coach largely by his patience and care in answering my training questions. Coach Cantor was the biggest reason I am still able to continue pursuing my dream, and my strength training philosophy has been built upon his teachings. I felt like I received a 5 year internship in strength & conditioning on top of the physical transformation that resulted from performing his programs.
Michelle Daniels
Michelle wasn’t even the baseball team’s trainer, but she went out of her way to help me recover from my various injuries and teach me anything and everything I wanted to know about injury prevention. All the shoulder, elbow and general physical therapy knowledge I have, and have passed on to my readers, was taught to me by her at one point in my playing career. Having the balance between strength training and physical therapy is so crucial to success as a ballplayer and trainer of ballplayers, and without Michelle I would be missing a big part of the picture, and probably wouldn’t be in one piece.
I’ve been an intern for Nick for the last year, and he has taught me how to be a better personal trainer, businessman and physiologist. Starting this blog was his suggestion, and it turned out to be much more beneficial to my career than I could have imagined, and I have in turn been filling it with information I learned from him. My job requires me to assess each individual’s unique needs and prescribe the best possible program to meet those needs, and I feel that I can assess individuals and build effective programs as well as anyone thanks to him.
And as a player, I want to thank Tim O’Brien, John Duffy, Coach Jancuska and Coach Mumma from UMBC, and Joe Michalski for their past and continued support as I push forward to try to make something of myself. I broke through plateaus in my development as a pitcher each time one of them entered my life. It’s been a much tougher year than I could have imagined, but I have tremendous optimism for the spring.
The site is in for some exciting changes in the next few months, as we are getting professionally remodeled with a sleek look and enhanced functionality, have some great new contributing writers, and a lot of new things to share as my athletes and myself continue progressing toward the spring season.
If you have any comments, suggestions or questions, I’d be eager to receive them. Thanks for reading and I hope you continue to visit during the new year!
You’re walking out of the grocery store with both hands on your cart when you spot her: she’s not on her deathbed, but she’s a woman who has certainly started her decent toward a nursing room bed and that powdery, mothballish smell that we associate with our elders. This lady, grocery bag in hand, is slowly meandering toward her car, which just happens to be at rest at the far end of an ice patch the size of a racquetball court.
You know what is about to happen. This lady is in no way capable of traversing this skating rink formerly known as the Safeway parking lot. Your help across is exactly what she needs, but your help she is not going to receive…
Delicious.
Rather, you gawk; stone-faced but giddy inside about what might, probably, certainly, will happen as this poor woman embarks on her impossible journey to the trunk of her faded white Cutlass Supreme.
Deadly.
It’s more captivating than you could have hoped for. As she tumbles toward the ground, still clutching to her chest the single brown paper grocery bag that no one uses anymore, time seems to stand still. As her buttocks meet the pavement, surely breaking one or both hips, celery stalks, glass Prego jars, and Neopolitan ice cream for her grandchildren all go flying. Do you run to her aid? Not a chance. You’re laughing way too hard, and there is no chance it is going to subside within the next hour. If only your camera phone had better resolution, this would already be on youtube…
The Biomechanics of the Ice-Fall
I figured this out quite a while ago, and it has helped me navigate the winter wonderland fall-free for a number of years now. The problem? Bent knees, heavy weight shift, and a hard push on the balls of the feet.
Trade Bent Knees for a Monster Walk
It all starts in the knees. When the knees bend during normal walking, weight shifts from the middle of the foot to the balls, and finally to the toes. When the toes have heavy weight on them the calves, hips and butt flex to propel the body forward, and the rear leg unweights to swing forward.
When on ice, it is at this point in normal walking that people fall. As the calf flexes to try to push the body forward, it loses traction on and shoots the front leg backward, resulting in the opposite leg flying forward, which in turn results in a backward fall.
The Solution? Walk with nearly straight legs, planting each foot down squarely in like Frankenstein or a penguin would. Keep your weight over your feet, and pick up each foot from the middle, knees still straight, without shifting weight. This motion takes the propulsion of the calves out of the picture.
I have clients perform this walk with bands, appropriately named the Monster Walk (it strengthens the hips and glutes). Will you look like a tool doing this in public? Maybe, but you’ll be the last tool standing…
Take this to heart, but keep it quiet.
Using this technique, you should have no problem keeping on your feet while in public places. Instruct your loved ones and tell your friends, but keep it hush hush after that. We, as a species, need to laugh at the misfortune of others. It makes us feel better about our non cold and injured selves and sends spirits soaring in times of wintry depression. Now go, surefooted friend of mine, and spread Christmas cheer while standing high above the fallen.
‘Tis that glorious time of year when Christmas music, decorations and festivities inundate our otherwise drab, cold and lifeless region of earth. What does this mean for all you shoppers in the next couple of weeks? A lot of stress, frustration, money, and possibly a bright smile and a “Merry Christmas!” from yours truly…
Let me explain.
I’ve become fascinated with the reactions of other people in various situations. Part of it stems from my lack of self-consciousness, over-abundance of self-confidence and insatiable desire for self-amusement. Ordinarily if I have your attention I will try to get a real conversation out of you – you know, containing things that aren’t just meaningless chit chat. But alas, people are reluctant to stray from their bubbles, even if those bubbles are decked with boughs of holly…
Please don't spit in my face...
So, this time of year, as I compete with others for the perfect expression of holiday materialism, I try to do what Santa would do, and wish random people Merry Christmas’s. How do they react to this, you ask?
Usually with horror, if they react at all. Last year at the mall my sister the hipster and yours truly wished a Merry Christmas to 25 people each. Most didn’t respond, despite our cheerful fervor, while others took their own holiday grumpiness a step further by making some sort of face to show their disgust/distaste/horror/resentment/etc.
I’d estimate that we got about a 15% return on our Merry Christmas, with 15% more of “You Too” or “Thanks.” The balance, the other 70%, were either cold stares ahead or cold stares redirected to us through both startled and hostile eyes.
I’ll never forget the young, probably 8 year old, boy who crossed paths with me as I exited Bath and Body Works in Towson. I looked down at him, smiled, and wished him the very best Christmas I could. He looked up at me as if I was the holy ghost himself, terrified, shocked and certainly NOT having the merry time I had hoped.
How could it be that “Merry Christmas!” would have such an effect on these people? They don’t hear, don’t acknowledge, and certainly don’t welcome it. It just seems like way too many people are walking around in bubbles impenetrable by anyone, regardless of their intentions. Everyone in your life was once a stranger, so you might as well smile back, right?
Yet, onward we will go, and the squad this year will expand to wish more mall patrons a Merry Christmas. At the very least, my Christmas will be more merry because of it, as I will thoroughly enjoy the interactions, be they good or bad.
Hopefully pepper spray isn’t on anyone’s wish list as I assault the public with kindness.
Tomorrow my friend and fellow trainer Alli McKee is going to be competing in the OCB Figure Championships in Bowie, MD. I really was hoping to make the show, but instead you’ll find me running a strength clinic on ProMirror night at BATT Academy and Athletic Edge.
Alli has been super dedicated, and has maintained a really interesting blog on her training, diet and overall ascent to the Figure throne on Friday night. Check out her blog and wish her luck!
If they allow themselves to be, other people are interesting. Recently I have made it my business to soak up as much wisdom from strangers as possible. If they let their guard down and tell me something personal, it makes for a really neat and memorable conversation.
I sat next to three lovely women on three recent plane rides and got three life stories, all of which helped me interpret my own, if only just a little. I also listened to a heart-wrenching story of a woman’s regret for having divorced the one man that she truly loved and wanted back. I won’t soon forget any of those people, strange as they were.
It’s just sad how conventionally we speak to one another. I ask you how you are, and regardless of your boiling inner turmoil, you answer “Fine!” or “Good.” These interactions are just bullcrap.
And when considering how in love with gossip people are, you would think they would want to hear more about how you’re not doing well because your wife left you to be a reality television star. Plus, it feels good to get those painful feelings off your chest. It’s win-win.
If today you were to ask me how I was, I would tell you: “Extremely unsettled to be going into my first winter without a contract to play baseball in the upcoming spring.” Also, despite having an incredible weekend, I would likely break into a diatribe about how crappy I think Maryland weather is.
Thank you so much for asking!
When I was younger, I can remember being so excited to go home from school on Fridays. Monday, and the start of another monotonous week of misery, was always so far away on those carefree afternoons.
But yet after a great day and a half, Sunday rolls along. For some, Sunday is a relaxing day in which the weekend festivities have already waned, allowing time to lay back and mellow.
For me, however, it always was the symbol that my weekend, and fun, was giving way, yet again, to less sleep and more school. Sundays were never fun because the inevitable and looming Monday was always in the back of my mind.
Do me a favor: Rake all those beautifully colored leaves into a nice big pile, then shove 'em. Thanks.
I hate the fall, and the winter for that matter – mostly because the cold air rushes in, taking with it my love of the sun, baseball, and enthusiasm for being outside. Problem is, I also lament the months leading up to it, for the same reason I hate Sundays.
August was always ruined because school started at the end of it. And September, though still warm, was yet another sign that baseball was now as far away as it could possibly be.
Now that I am out of school, one negative aspect is gone, but yet here I sit on a boring Sunday in what is now technically autumn, with the recent realization that I have to wait through 5.5 agonizingly cold months to get back to doing the only thing I really care about. Gotta suffer for it, I guess.
Note: If you live in Florida, and none of this really applies, keep laughin. One word: hurricane.
Ever wonder what CrossFit is about (and why it should be avoided like the plague)? Which dessert is the finest in the land? Why Bruno Mars is such an abysmal singer? Look no further…
1. Staying Healthy Is Boring But Necessary
I don’t ski or snowboard. I don’t play basketball (I suck anyway). I don’t jump off of large buildings. These are things I cut out of my life because I would rather stay healthy for my sport than participate in them. Yet, I have destructive habits and hobbies, all of which I plan on pursuing at MAXIMUM INTENSITY after my playing career is over. This includes the following:
- Deadlifting weights of 500+ pounds. My current personal record is 435lbs for 2 reps on the straight-bar deadlift. Once I’m done playing, I plan to try for the 600s, likely tearing myself apart in the process. Have you ever lifted so heavy that you see stars? It produces hormones that make you feel high. Taking drugs is for scumbags; lifting heavy stuff is for heroes.
- Doing Chin Ups until my back blocks out the sun in a V-Shaped eclipse. Chin ups are awesome for whole body strength and building a chiseled, wide back, and my buddy Fred and I used to bang out 100 chins in an afternoon using Rock Rings. It was the best of times, but too much for a competitive throwing arm.
- Rock Climbing until all my finger tendons pop like guitar strings. Climbing is just awesome.
- Picking fights with people larger than I, because I need to see what the life-carryover of all this strength would have. Throwing a 250lb man over a 4-foot tall bar, just because he ordered a Cranberry Vodka? Let’s give it a shot!
