[Thursday, 5:30 pm]

“So when are you leaving?”
“Friday at 3 o’clock in the morning.”
“Oh. So you’re leaving tonight!?”
“Well, uh, I guess. Friday morning I fly out.”

I had this exact conversation with at least 4 people. I claimed that I was departing in the morning, and they were certain that I would be leaving later that night. So all morning I have been wondering,

When does night end and morning begin?

Now, we all know that 12am marks the start of a new day, but midnight, besides obviously describing to us its placement, is always thought of as an extension of the prior day’s evening. The morning doesn’t seemingly start at midnight, and yet we would all agree that it has arrived by 5am. So, where during this mysterious 5-hour window does night give way to morning?

This question seems to depend on two factors:

1. Amount of time until sunrise
2. One’s typical bedtime (this also highly correlates with age)

Any kid who has spent time with friends after his parents retreated to bed has heard this phrase at some
point:

“Damnit, (insert your name here)! It’s 1:30 in the morning! If you wake us up again you’re going to get it!”

Idle threats aside, the point is, 1:30 is often referred to as morning by those who, ravaged by age, go to sleep early.

Yet, consider the following:

“Dude, it’s two o’clock. There is no way you are going to be able to get a haircut this late at night. You’re an idiot to think that.”

The above conversation, uttered by hypothetical college students, is typical of those who regularly spend multiple hours awake past midnight.

Yet, I would pose that while many would argue both ways about the dark hours of 12-3am, 4am, I feel, would be consensually agreed upon to be a morning hour. Only 1 hour away from
daylight, 4 o’clock is an hour in which almost all of us, nightowls or not, are asleep, and our sleeping session is descending. Yet, I still am not convinced that being asleep is the salient difference in categorizing an hour; If 11pm was an hour in which nearly all of us slept, we still would not consider it morning.

One could argue that the “pm” versus “am” distinction makes the difference, but to that I would also disagree. 11:59am, I feel, would not be commonly held as morning, but, rather, afternoon. And, if am vs. pm was truly the issue, the we would need some other means by which to quantify the afternoon. Additionally, one would have a hard time defending the case that we have a full 12 hours of morning each day, especially when 12am is given the title of “mid night.”

So, what is it, then, that provides the distinction between morning and night? I propose that it should be based on whether one is “coming” or “going” at anytime past midnight but before daybreak.

Coming refers to those who are yet to retire past the midnight hour, after being awake all day. Going refers to those who sleep into and awaken past midnight. So, if you’re out at a club and go to sleep at 3:45, you should refer to it as “3:45 at night.” If you were asleep and awakened at 12:15am, for example, then you should refer to your awakening as “12:15 in the morning.”

This solution of mine might not please everyone, but for proper communication’s sake, it allows for a distinction that can be easily referred to and enforced.

And yes, this really is what I contemplated as I stumbled through the airport in a stupor, groggy from arising at 2:45 on this beautiful morning. Gotta love 5:40 flights and a little airport philosophizing!

Thoughts?