I was shopping at my local asian supermarket when I stumbled across a bottle of curious capsules in the health supplements section.  On this bottle was a picture of a rather happy seal; contained in the bottle was 300 capsules worth of an assumedly unhappy seal’s oil.

I was intrigued.  There was no price, so I asked the purveyor how many yen he charged for such a cuddly health booster.  Sadly, the 39 dollars they were asking for the bottle was just too blubbery for my budget. I flopped back onto my belly and paddled away.

Yet, here I sit, wondering about the seal that got away.  The potency of the tiny capsules was high, 500mg of DHA, DPA and EPA in each, and there were 300 for 39 bucks.  I could get my usual high dose with about 10 caps per day, which would make the bottle only marginally more expensive, on a monthly basis, than my pint bottle of fish oil.  Plus, I’ve never had seal burps before…how fun!

"We need to make sure we use every last bit of him, just like the natives would"

Thing is, the price is almost right and the product is healthy, exotic, illegal and a little taboo. I’m also not all that sensitive of a fellow.  Now, I wouldn’t club a seal myself, but if it comes not only pre-clubbed but pre-cleaned and prepackaged as well, then I get the full eskimo experience with none of the muscle fatigue, cleanup or regret.

I did a little internet research, and not only is selling marine mammal products illegal in the US, but it’s highly unsympathetic.  Those poor, easily caught creatures are in desperate need of our help, apparently.  Plus, for every seal that we wring into a bottle, one more killer whale is going hungry.  I flashback to my dear Mom’s words at the dinner table…”finish your baby seal, there are hungry orcas off the coast of Africa who would love that seal.”

It’s a tough call.  I need Omega-3′s, and I like exotic food as much as I like eating healthy.  If that bottle was priced at 29 dollars I would likely be throwing back caps like feeding time at SeaWorld.  Yet, I think for now, I am priced out of the harp seal market.  Anyone wanna go halfsies with me? If so, I’m willing to concede the most playful 150 capsules to you. Club, er, hit me up if you want in.