I celebrated 2009′s departure with more fervor than any other year in my 24 years of existence.  While I had a lot of productive things happen in ’09, leading me into 2010 with a codpiece full of optimism, I got kicked in the nuts by life way too many times.  As soon as I stopped dry heaving, whimpering  and coughing enough to arise from my knees, along came another swift inguinal blow.

Now we could get into a debate about how my overprivileged-middle-class problems aren’t as real those of most of the world, but screw that.  Things were hard, it was a bad year, and it’s all looking up for 2010.

So now is the time when everyone makes their resolutions, which last probably an average of 45 days, if that. I have never been one for resolutions, mostly because Jan.1 is ultimately just one arbitrary deadline. If you really want to change, Christ, just do it today.

But anyway, in the spirit of the holiday, I would like to suggest some resolutions for others that may be useful, based on my observations of my own and other people’s lifestyles.

1. Stop Being Such a Pansy With The Opposite Sex

I know far too many guys who are downright terrified of being rejected by women without 10 shots in them.  Now I could, and probably will, write pages and pages about this subject, but today I’ll leave you with one reason to sac up and go for it: People are attracted most to others close to their own attractiveness.

So, if you think a girl is really pretty, and others would agree that she is at least somewhat “in your league,” then there is a great chance she would hear you out. After all, you’re attracted to and would be receptive to her if she approached, so why wouldn’t the same be true if you broke the ice?  Anytime a girl comes up to me or my friends I am always impressed, and whether or not it’s a connection, she earns points and I give her my attention.  I yell at my sister every time she tells me she saw a cute guy, and didn’t talk to him.  Lame.  Life is just too boring and short to not take what you want.

2. Stop Being Needlessly Reckless

Use protection.  I can’t believe that even needs to be said, but it shocks me how many people are so cavalier about it with people they barely know.  Unless you’re married and stable, children, god bless them, aren’t what you need.

3.  Stop Being So Fat

Nutrition isn’t as complicated as one might think.  Trade in the cookies, chips and processed foods for veggies and fruits, and eat some healthy fats and lean protein in each meal.  Exercise.  THATS IT.  (You knew this deep down, didn’t you?)

4. Stop Being Guarded

Be more honest, and tell people what’s really going on.  All those acquaintances that you have, in which you always talk about superficial things, aren’t really adding meaning to your life.  Make your interactions meaningful by saying meaningful things.

5. Stop Being Cheap (Especially in the recession)

I’m fortunate in that I enjoy my job, and am very good at it, and am well paid.  Do I deserve this?  Sure, I put in the work and have specialized knowledge, but I don’t really work harder or deserve more money than anyone else.  I had an epiphany when I was in Giant and saw a 45 year old man stocking shelves: I need to spread my wealth around even more to those who deserve and need it. This guy looked just like, and was conceivably just as educated as any other 45 year old with a career paying 80 grand a year.

This stocker probably has the same mortgage, wife and kids, too.  So why is he stocking shelves?  Maybe some bad choices, but maybe not, and there are enough people out there like him who do those custodial jobs through no fault of their own.  Maybe he was laid off, or had some major shake-up, who knows.

Point is, you see the restaurant workers, barbers, custodians, and all these people who work way harder and way longer for way less money than the rest of us, through no real fault of their own.  Who we all are today is largely a product of genetics and ancestry.  If my family was poor, I wouldn’t be doing what I do, and I wouldn’t be able to still pursue baseball.  Rather, I’d be out working to make ends meet and scrape by.

So if you have the money to go to a restaurant, or get a nice haircut, or whatever, you BETTER tip those people well.  Even if you always tipped well, tip a little better. They work harder than you and deserve a break, and you never know what a few extra dollars could mean to someone.

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So there ya go.  5 resolutions that get the Dan Blewett stamp of approval (prestigious, I know!)

My resolution for my site is to get more comments out of you, my valued readers. So I would love to hear your comments, starting with any resolutions you would like to add to this list!