Probably the most difficult facet of the recovery process has been me, in my head, wondering if I have plateaued, and whether or not I will continue to improve in the coming months.

I remember the first time I threw off the mound.  It was timed so that I started in Florida, during our spring break trip, and I can recall my 3rd bullpen session, which I threw on the side at the University of Miami.  That day I felt really fresh, and was confident in my arm after having two mound sessions already under my belt.

So I did my 45 throws or whatever at 60 feet, and I remember feeling like I was popping the ball.  It was on a line, and it had a nice crisp sound, and I was just pleased as shit about it.

3 or 4 weeks later, I was still doing largely the same routine, but throwing with more intensity.  I felt like it was time to get out the radar gun.  I was throwing 75%, so I figured I should be around 70 with very little effort.  So I start throwing, and they start shouting back my velocities…

64.  62.  61.  64.  Really?  So now I try to throw a little harder.  64.  64. 63.  What?  I just muscled up and its still only 64?  This is ridiculous.  Thing was, I didn’t feel like I was throwing 75%, I felt like I was throwing 100%.  It was the hardest I had thrown in 6 months, and it looked and felt like I would never again throw a ball over 65 mph.  Not happy.

So next time out I did the same thing, and this time it was 65-68.  An improvement, but still terrible, and it still felt like I was throwing as hard as I could.  Everyone else said it looked like I wasn’t trying, but I sure felt like I was.

This was how the next month or two went.  I would feel like I was throwing my hardest, but I really wasn’t recruiting much of my arm or body.  Velocity crept up in each bullpen, and I gained 3-4 mph per session for a couple of weeks.

But even as velocity crept up, I felt so far away from throwing the way I used to. After seeing 75 mph leave my hand and feeling like it was the best I could muster, I couldn’t believe how I ever used to throw a ball 90, or would again.

I still suffered from that months later, and I had been sitting in the upper 80s for about 2 weeks.  The velocity has been stabilizing in my outings, but I still wasn’t where I once was.  So I wondered, had I finally plateaued?  Everyone said no.

At that time I was doing nothing but pitch from a mound, and I had no idea how little extension I was getting until I finally long-tossed.  What a difference.

Since I was throwing so much on my rehab program, I also had no idea how fatigued my arm had gotten. It wasn’t until I took 5 days off that I realized, again, what a fresh arm felt like. What a difference.

Those little victories came and went, and over such a long time of throwing and rehabbing I had forgotten the little nuances of my delivery, such as really reaching out, and how to schedule my throwing, including when to rest up.  I finally broke through my plateau and started throwing a few ticks harder because of it.  It just took a new stimulus and a little rest.

Little plateaus will happen, and it’s hard to not get frustrated when you wonder if its finally THE plateau at the end of the recovery, when the new you is finally fully baked.  I’m still not there yet, even 13 months later, because I had a 2 month battle with forearm tendinitis.   I decided after taking care of that and going to a tryout, I was gonna take my off-season rest, which I am currently enjoying.

Doctors and trainers say that a lot of times it takes that first off-season before the new elbow reaches its full, and hopefully greater, potential.  As much as seeing the changes throughout rehab was exciting, man, it feels nice to not worry about it for a little while, and focus on myself in other ways.  To be continued.